oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
