I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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