Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
