How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
