Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
