i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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