We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
