turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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