i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
