White coat. Heels.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
