Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
