good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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