I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
