Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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