You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize