where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
