I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
