I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
