I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
