oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I cut my penus on the lid.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
