Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
