If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
