So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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