dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
