people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Randomize
