I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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