Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
