So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
