they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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