she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The feeling are messing with the penis
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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