We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
