An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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