I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
