I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize