Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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