Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
