Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
