You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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