Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
BRING THE BAGELS
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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