THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
