i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize