all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
foreskin is a definite game changer
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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