I wish you could order shots online.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
