well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
