But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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