Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
