I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
