Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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