dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
