I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize