I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
