His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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