im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
