im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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