girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize