so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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