CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
