literally had 100 drinks last night.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
