Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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