The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
