My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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