Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
