i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
